It never fails. If you start making a pot of chili, and there is another human being (sentient or not) within visual distance, they will come over and start talking to you. And at some point (usually about three sentences in), they will say "You know, you should really...." or "When I make chili, I..."
This behavior is so widespread that it appears to be genetic. You can use this to your advantage. When venturing off into the wilds, whether it be darkest Africa, or backcountry skiing, or exploring the backwaters of the Amazon, bring chili fixins with you. That way, when you are hopelessly lost, alone and in trouble, you simply fire up your pot and wait for someone to tell you how to do it better. And while they're there, you can ask them for directions, tourniquet, or whatever assistance you require.
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